suicide seems the only choice

things were much easier if i didn't even exist. that way, i didn't have to go through this all. if one gives up happiness, can't one give up torment in return? if one strives for happiness, one never reaches, and that way, life becomes torment. if one gives up happiness, one feels nothing, and from my standpoint, that's much peaceful than living in agony. life has always been agony for me and i believe it's just too much and i've had enough. very fragile and scarce memory of happiness can't stand against all this torment and is way not enough to make me have faith in life.